Pictures On The Wall
by EnsorcelledFerret
Summary: Years after a tragic fire, Kurama returns one more time to his hometown....
1. Pictures On The Wall 1

"Pictures On The Wall"  
  
Disclaimers:: Insert the usual 'I don't own any of the characters, series, et cetera' stuff here. We all know I don't own these characters, so... Don't sue me. ^-^ That said, I just want to make a little note.... I felt this song best reflected any given situation with Kurama, and my creative daemons took over from there. Don't set my email box on fire too much, alright? XD!  
  
Song Credit:: I'm Moving On - Rascal Flatts  
  
--- --- ---  
  
It's been a while since I came back to this house. I never remembered it being so silent -- so empty, but as I sat on the floor of the hollowed out shell of the blackened structure so long ago burned out, I could almost be smothered by the silence. My eyes closed, I took in a slow breath. Had it really been so long since that hot summer night? How many years? Four... five..? I'd lost count.  
  
I never really visited her grave. I know she'd have wanted me to press on with my life, and perhaps she could find peace thinking that I'd taken the steps to attain my goals of life. At least one of us found total peace in that fact, and that was good enough for me, I suppose.  
  
I opened my eyes. Though blackened and burned, everything had remained the same, added by, perhaps, a little dust over the years. The shell of a couch here, a broken table there... It was so familiar to me, yet so unknown. Climbing slowly to my feet, I took in a deep breath as I brushed off my slacks. I thought about her constantly. In my dreams, while I worked, while I drove down a lone country road with nothing to accompany my mind but the soft music of my radio and visions of her.  
  
I guess, in truth, I'd never really thought about what I would do without her. She'd always been there, even when *I* wasn't. She was my guardian angel, my guiding light at the end of a tunnel I couldn't hope to find the end of on my own. That smiling face at the end of a particularly hard school day.  
  
// I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long I'm movin' on //  
  
Broken pieces of wood, and hard ash crunched softly under my shoes as I began to wander through the rooms, one at a time... the ones that remained, anyway. Living room... kitchen.. hallway.... I stopped just before the stairway. No sense in trying to climb something so rickety to get to a place that didn't exist anymore. I lifted my eyes upward, and spotted a few lonesome clouds creeping across the gentle blue sky above. A beautiful summer day, really...  
  
To my left, a glint caught my eye, and I turned my head toward it. Broken glass, smudged with dust, ash and residue from the blaze - -a picture. I could feel the edges of my mouth twitch slightly, as if I wanted to smile. Not for me, but for her. I reached out, and took the picture from the wall. Its frame cracked, and crumbled partly in my hand.  
  
I guess the fire didn't reach here as much of the rest of the house. Cracking the rest of the frame away, I let the glass fall to the floor. It broke completely then, shattering the silence that encased me.  
  
Staring at the picture, I felt the smile grow just a little more. I remembered those times, a happy existance lived in denial and ignorance, both mine and hers. I still felt regret for never revealing everything to her... my involvement with Spirit World, the dealings in the Dark Tournament, exactly why I kept the same circle of friends for so long... among other things.  
  
If I could have gone back that instant, I doubt I would have changed anything. There was no sense in making her worry more than she had already. Together, we made our lives as joyful as they had been, though the existance together was brief by many standards. I'd been there for her just as she'd been there for me, and I would not have had it any other way. Perhaps.. if I had just a little more time.  
  
No. She wouldn't want me dwelling on things like that.  
  
// I've lived in this place and I know all the faces Each one is different but they're always the same They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it They'll never allow me to change But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong I'm movin' on //  
  
After tucking the picture inside my jacket, I slipped my hands into their corresponding slacks pockets. There was nothing left here but memories, and not even those were enough to try and rebuild my time here. I left that house as I had so many times before, but I knew this time that I would never return.  
  
Only a few more destinations left now. I walked down the road, near completely lost in thought. People milled around me, fulfilling their daily routines as always. So many familiar faces, aged slightly perhaps, but the same neverless. Children, mothers, fathers... business men, city workers, drunks, and people out for simple walks.. just like me. So clueless in their daily existance, but happily so. Who was I to change that? Especially now?  
  
I had no right to meddle in the affairs of others, however righteous my attempts might be. Or .. how righteous I might think them. I smiled a little to myself, thinking about the picture in my jacket. Everyone has their happy times, and no one has the right to take them away... I suppose that was what I fought so hard for. Protection... Atonement... for the hell of it? I suppose I can't even answer that.  
  
I think Hiei put it best when he told me that I 'fight because I can do nothing else'.  
  
Hiei.  
  
Another face among many, one that I would probably never see again. Lost among the balance of Fate and Life, pulled from me and gone without proper farewells. I still don't know if I could have saved him, but he had done everything he could to save me. I wonder if he'll ever really know how much his efforts had meant to me then... how much they *still* mean to me now...  
  
Probably not, but knowing Hiei, anything was possible. I'd made it a note to find out... somehow.  
  
I turned the corner, and paused, looking up at Keiko and Yusuke's apartment building. I wasn't sure they were still there, but... I headed silently toward it. I'd been at their wedding a couple years ago. It was wonderful, and they both seemed so happy together. Yusuke had confided to me before the reception that he wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing in marrying Keiko, that he loved her, but he didn't want her to get emotionally hurt at all. Not after they'd been through so much together. He asked my opinion, and I told him he had to give his heart to the one he loved, and no other would suffice.  
  
He just smiled at me. God, that stupid man.  
  
He married her, and they'd been together ever since. I heard via the grapevine that they were expecting their first child, and I suppose I was happy at the news. Happy for them, anyway. When they'd completed the ceremony, I knew that Yusuke felt a completion in being bound to the woman he'd known since his youth. I could see it in his eyes, that fulfillment.  
  
Like I said.. I was happy for *them*.  
  
Knocking lightly on the door, I waited. I wasn't worried at all. I wanted to meet with them again. It'd been so long, I knew there was much to catch up on. Much to tell them, if they didn't already know. I wasn't sure if they still kept a good contact within Spirit World as I did...  
  
But if I knew Botan, she'd find ways to inform them of the major things happening.  
  
There was no answer, even after I'd knocked four more times. I sighed.  
  
"They don't live there anymore."  
  
The voice behind me, I'll admit, startled me slightly. Turning, I came face to face with a slender, black-haired man, his eyes dark and cautious. He reminded me so much of Yusuke...  
  
"Ah... that would explain why there is no answer." I said, matter-of- factly. I didn't even try to hide my disappointment at this revealation. "Do you know where I can find them?"  
  
"The Urameshi family?" The man snorted softly, and looked to his right. "I dunno. They left a few months ago."  
  
I replaced my hands in their pockets. "I see. Did you know them well..?"  
  
The man shook his head a little, then looked back in my direction. "Not really all that well. I knew Yusuke a little, but only because I saw him frequently on my way to work. His wife and I talked on occassion, not often, like I said, but enough for me to know they were moving."  
  
I blinked slowly, and lowered my eyes.  
  
"And they did move, a few months ago." He shrugged.  
  
I thanked the man, and without looking back to the apartment, I shuffled back down to the street via the stairwell on the west side.  
  
I suppose I shouldn't have expected too much. It'd been too long since I'd been back in the city. Why should everything still be the same after so long? Did I really expect things to be so unchanging? Since I'd taken up my new assignments across the country, I didn't check in with my friends as often as I probably should have. Things change.. people change.. life goes on. I did feel a little betrayed that Botan hadn't tried to tell me of the move.... damn.  
  
Two more stops.  
  
// I'm movin' on At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me And I know there's no guarentees, but I'm not alone There comes a time in everyone's life When all you can see are the years passing by And I have made up my mind that those days are gone //  
  
The Kuwabara house was just as silent as the Urameshi residence. Knocking offered nothing but more silence, and this time there were no neighbours to offer me explainations as to the whereabouts of the occupants. I sat sullenly on the doorstep for at least an hour, watching people walk by on the sidewalk beyond the wall surrounding the yard. Fewer and fewer people began to walk by as the sun slowly began to drift downward in the summer sky.  
  
So many faces, growing, changing, altering in ways that had never seemed so acceptable to me before. Familiar by glance, but not truly making their own places in my memory. I longed to see a face I could put a name with, a face that'd I'd seen so often in my earlier days of youth.  
  
The sun crept even further downward. I suppose I could have left a note, but what good would it have done? I didn't have any way to contact them after this, and they wouldn't be able to contact me. I suppose my 'surprise' visit wasn't filled with as much excitement as I'd hoped it would have been. Lonely memories, distantance.. I felt saddened.. rejected.  
  
Alone.  
  
I stood up, and looked back at the closed door that had "Kuwabara" etched in small letters near the latch. I didn't know where they were, Kazuma and Shizuru, but my thoughts were with them.  
  
Giving a small sigh, I moved out of the yard enclosure, back to the sidewalk.  
  
One more stop.  
  
// I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't Stopped to fill up on my way out of town I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't I had to lose everything to find out Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road I'm movin' on //  
  
Dark crimsons and violets stretched across the sky, and the sun was nearly out of sight completely. Wisps of sunlight still managed, however, to filter through the trees surrounding the solitary grave-marker that jutted from the ground, nestled at the base of a single, large oak. The place was secluded, but not by too much. I could, from where I stood, still here the chatter and laughter of people that came out to enjoy the nightlife of the city.  
  
My last stop.  
  
I knelt next to the silent, unmarked grave, and sat back on my heels. Lowering my head, I reached inside my jacket, and pulled the sooty picture from its place of safety. I brushed it off a little more, peering down at the three smiling faces found within it.  
  
"It's been so long since I've seen you..." My voice was soft, yet it seemed so loud to me amid the quietness that surrounded me. I turned my eyes to the grave, and smiled a little. "So long that I fear I might have forgotten what you looked like, if not for this picture."  
  
Lifting the image, I looked from it back to the grave in a swift movement. "I found it among the shell of the old house, you know. God, it was almost completely untouched." I let myself chuckle a little, and lowered the picture to my lap, holding with only one hand.  
  
"I suppose that's not really the reason I came here. By now, you've probably heard of my new promotion as the local Spirit Guardian of the northern regions of Japan. I know it's not exactly what I might have chosen for a lifetime profession, but who knows.. it might prove to be more interesting, right? Can't let Botan have all the fun....  
  
"Besides... I don't seem to have anything left here for me." I heard my voice crack a little as I spoke, trying to steady myself a little. "Yusuke and Keiko have moved. I'm not sure where they're at, but I suppose they're happy. They probably felt it was time to move away from the city. With as familiar as it is, it *can* be a little more than stifling if you're trying to raise a family.  
  
"Perhaps Yusuke will gain a better reputation somewhere in their new city, a place where he's not really known for his gruff behavior, or his abrassive personality. I'm sure there are many other cities that could use a Yusuke Urameshi, for better or worse." I grinned slowly, and looked back to the picture.  
  
"I also visited Kuwabara and Shizuru. I know that you didn't know them as well as I did, but I'm sure they would send their regards to you if they could. Shizuru especially. She was a very caring woman, despite what she may have said otherwise.  
  
I sighed deeply, and sat in silence for a few minutes. The darkness swelled up as the sun faded away, leaving me sitting under half-clouded stars, the trees around me rustling softly.  
  
"I know..." I faltered slightly. Even though I'd planned for this last meeting, I was still unprepared. It's hard to predict the exact emotions of a human being, even for me. I swallowed hard, and closed my eyes. "I know I wasn't there for you like you were for me. It's my fault that you died in that fire, and though I came here to ask for forgiveness.... I can't.  
  
"You wouldn't want me to ask you." I squeezed my eyes closed, and my grip on the picture tightened slightly, wrinkling it a little. "But I can't help think that you wouldn't have died if it wasn't for me. A freak accident that was supposed to claim two lives..... but it claimed the wrong two."  
  
Reopening my eyes, I took a deep breath. Reaching out, I carefully managed to place the picture in front of the marker. Three smiling faces peered at me through the darkness, and through my tears, I smiled back. God, those ruby eyes even seemed to taunt me in something as simple as a picture.....  
  
Standing, I dusted on my slacks, and slipped my hands in their respective pockets.  
  
// I'm movin' on I'm movin' on //  
  
"Thank you... Hiei."  
  
[[ END ]]  
  
--- by PiperZ  
  
( Sunday, March 21st, 2004 --- 9:36:41PM EST ) 


	2. Authors Notes

AUTHOR'S NOTES:  
  
Thank you for reading "Pictures On The Wall".  
  
A quick note, since I'm slow on adding sequels/chapters to anything::  
  
It was pointed out to me by a friend that the whole "Hiei is a fire demon, he could withstand a piddly human-world fire!" thing.   
  
WELL, minions, in truth.. Hiei CAN withstand a PIDDLY HUMAN-WORLD FIRE! Too bad the sequel to this story will prove the fire to be otherwise.   
  
Now that I've put more tension against the tears that you might have already been in from reading this little story....   
  
... heh... you'll just have to wait until the sequel is finished..  
  
... that is, if you don't try to strangle me to death for pulling a stunt like that. XD!! 


End file.
